On comfort zones…The good, the bad and the absolutely ugly

Risk is everywhere – in driving a car, in exercising too much or not at all, in overeating or not eating enough, in spending money or investing it, in changing jobs or staying comfortably same-y and in pursuing a passion or staying at home on the couch. I think you get the picture by now. I have been thinking a lot about comfort zones lately, and how those that we love can so often be a source of sound advice, but that their care for us can cause them to unconsciously hold us back. After achieving one of my relatively long term goals (probably two serious years in the making) I have been thinking too about next steps and how to carve out a life for myself that best amalgamates my passions and allows me to contribute. I am working it out, but the need to make some more of my own choices is becoming clearer. I have always been a planner – I like doing things that lead somewhere, and always try to do things to be best of my ability, my confidence to follow things through is improving and I always have ideas of what could come next. This all sounds great, yes, but I can’t help feeling squashed, and what makes this worse is knowing that the person making my feel this way doesn’t mean to, and that they love and care for me so much and don’t want me getting hurt or making a fool of myself. They also feel protective of me and responsible if things were to go wrong, but it’s my life and suddenly, I want to feel empowered, make some more of my own choices, even if they go wrong and achieve things on my own merit. Of course we all need a little help along the way and advice should always be gratefully received, but on the whole, I want to be someone saying why not rather than just why, and someone who never says, ‘it all just seems too hard.’ There is so little scope for development and experience in this!

But should advice always be heeded, or can it be something that keeps us where we are and keeps the status quo frustratingly similar? In my first post, already six weeks ago, I wrote of the virtues of uncertainty and how it can keep life interesting. I have certainly discovered this since then: In taking the plunge, in feeling momentarily stupid and utterly clueless and in casting thoughts of everything that could go wrong aside in favour of assuming that good will result instead, there are great new opportunities to be had. As a final thought, if it seems impossible now, this is not permanent, and possibilities will follow! Please share you thoughts.

L

xx

 

 

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